These past three days have been for me like the waves and the boat when there is no wind: slowly dragging from one side to another. It has been so hard to keep up with the daily tasks. I felt the need to sleep more, but ironicaly it became the hardest thing to do, even after lying down. All my being is still functioning at high speed and the mind seems unstoppable. It leaves me completely drained. To calm me a bit, my crew colleagues with and without MS say they are all feeling this same heaviness, so we all need our naps more frequently. "Mind the rest" was a private joke between me and my Irish friend also with MS, Emma Rogan. It perfectly fits here and everyday of our lifes.
The 10 August was the full moon. Looking up to the sky the round light shines our path over the dark sea. Being in the path of that beam, I feel that my very being is trespassed by her soft and permanent light. If it can be described, it is a most peaceful and feeling of belonging within that makes me feel connected to all that exists. But at the same time, all the good and bad parts of my life come up, without judgement but also no fooling around here. It is my own mirror. I need to be prepared to face it. And there is no way out anywhere from here: hundreds of miles back to Madeira, little less than two thousand miles ahead to Bermuda! We are in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. What to do now?
I gave everything I had in July to be part of the crew on board Oceans of Hope as soon as Mikkel Anthonisen announced the ‘magic news‘. There was so much practical stuff to get done in a rush; papers, money, clothes, insurance, VISA, medication. I've never before done anyhing so radical and this fast turn in my life. In the middle of that personal running there were plenty of oportunities to go on the major Portuguese television channels to tell my MS story and my dream come true, the journey across the Atlantic Ocean with Sailing Sclerosis.
Suddently my life purpose since being diagnosed with MS 10 years ago had come true on prime time TV: to change the face of MS in Portugal. And thanks to Oceans of Hope it has exceeded even my wildest dreams.
People started to recognise the yacht's story and MS became more visible. Together we are changing face of MS around the world. And you know what? It has been a very exhausting but really fun journey to embrace and so worth it. All my efforts are now coming back such an amazing way. I feel life is rewarding me: what goes around comes around. All the feelings of fear of the end of this journey and missing all the people back home that ran through my mind these past days have gone. The sweet and endless love of all and the sense of being in the right place in my life has become a warm and cozy feeling in the heart.
By this point I remember I was looking at the moon in the first place... it has a blue halo surrounding it and it makes me smile. A phosphorous green path is also keeping us company all around the boat and shooting stars too. Dolphins also visit us at the end of almost every day. Mother nature is with us and we can trust each other. We all feel safe, connected and ready to keep up the journey!